Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up