thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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