Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho