I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals