I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
