I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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