This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my being single is dangerous.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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