I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
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I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
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There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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