we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
