We're like a lot better than the average bears
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
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