I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
