so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize