i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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