I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
