I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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