RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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