Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
