Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
