I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk