So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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