So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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