I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
