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I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
