She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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