They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
