If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
