As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
