I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
