Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
