Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
