I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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