just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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