I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
