sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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