Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
