in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
