Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
