You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
