Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
