I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize