i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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