yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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