Someone shit on the floor
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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