i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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