And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
