Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
