she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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