I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize