I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I understand Curling. That high.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
