you guys were way drunker than both of me
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize