Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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