Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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