Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I think my moral compass just broke
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
