Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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