she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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