I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
