Got a toothbrush?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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