Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
