thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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