Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
