Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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