I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
