Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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