do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize