12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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